There is nothing quite so weird as diving into an air-conditioned shopping
mall to escape from the blinding glare of the harsh mid-summer Perth sunshine,
only to be hit by a blast of Jingle Bells and Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer.
I don't care what anyone says, I'll never get used to it. Xmas should be all
about freezing your bits off in an icy wind, last minute shopping in pitch darkness
at 4 in the afternoon, burning your fingers peeling and munching roasted chestnuts
from a glowing street brazier, and hordes of Salvation Army Carol Singers mugging
you with their rattling collection tins. It certainly is not about swatting
flies off your tee-shirt on a scorching summers day, or sitting on a beach swigging
a cold beer, or going for an early morning swim before the sun gets too high.
See what I mean??? Does not compute...Yet somehow you have to try and get yourself into the Christmas spirit. It isn't the same eating roast turkey when the temperature outside is hotter than the oven the bird was just cooked in, or gorging mince pies when you are really craving an ice cold Guinness.
Everywhere we went people were decorating their homes with fake Xmas Trees adorned with fake snow. It was amusing to see that the manic desire to have the most outrageous and outlandish set of fairy lights adorning the front of your house has now caught on in Oz as well as England.
We actually spent Xmas lunchtime and all afternoon tucking into a picnic on the embankment of the Swan River in Perth. After a while, I got a little bored with just sitting around making small talk so I took my fishing rod down to the jetty and spent a happy if fruitless couple of hours just lazily casting out and watching my float bob around. I noticed the water was absolutely crawling with jellyfish yuk.
There were many people around the bay windsurfing, and frequently falling into the drink amongst the glutinous occupants. Rather them than me. Double yuk.
Australian Jingle-Bells (click on this link, it just about sums up how it felt to me)